Sunday, April 10, 2011

The New Normal

We are finding a new normal around here and it is hard. As I have said before running two households is hard. Seeing my Mom in this state is hard. Thankfully my heart is not hard and may not understand but my God does!!!! We have tried to keep things as normal for the boys as we can but sometimes it is impossible. For weeks I had to be at my parents at 6am and stay until after 7am to give iv infusions, then went back at 9pm and did the same again. Instead of being at my house working on the cookbook that was due for publication in May, I had to be back at the parents at 8am to take care of Mom. That left a few minutes in between for me to see my boys, make John's lunch and see them all off for school and work. I would stay at my parents once I went back at 8am until after the 2pm infusion ran. I would get home a little after 3pm and rush to get things done and then go get the boys from school and get supper cooked for the parents and us, then take it back over. Then head back home and do bathes and reading, Bible and time with the boys. I would put them to bed at 8pm and John usually was home by then and then at 9pm back over to my parents. Thankfully that is in the past. The new normal is: Getting up at 5:30am, getting ready, do devotion, take meds, make bed, do a load of laundry unload dw and feed the fish. 6:30am boys up, fed, dressed, devotion, amke John's lunch, give boys meds 7:45am boys and John out the door for work and school, I usually make my to do list, do laundry, load any dishes in dw, empty garbages, wipe down counters, answer emails, make phone calls 8:45am head to Mom and Dad's, get Mom up, give meds, make sure she has breakfast, unload/load her dw, do laundry, clean kitchen, talk with Mom, work on memory exercises, do PT exercises, write out any bills, do any farm paper work, make any calls for them 10:30am IF Mom is stable enough to leave by herself (and Daddy or brother are nearby on farm) I run down to town (3 miles) and pick up groceries, meds, go to bank, postoffice and run errands. Then I go back by to check on Mom and if she's okay I go home. I can see Mom and Dad's house from mine. I call about every hour and make sure she is okay. All the while working on house stuff at my place. I also have a morning snack. About 12:30pm I make sure of her pain level (sometimes I have to go back to give pain meds). I make sure she has lunch. Sometimes I stay on work on housework. I usually start supper prep for all of us then. I usually have lunch about 1pm. 3pm Usually Daddy is home or around and I call him and Mom and remind them of her 3pm meds (just one pill, an antibiotic). Then I satart wrapping up around home and have any cold things for supper already made. Then I go get the boys from school. 4pm Boys home no later usually than this. Give them and I snack, talk about their day, playtime. 5pm Finish supper, take supper to parents, playtime 6pm Feed fish, feed us 7pm bathes, call and check on Mom, John arrives home between now and 8pm. Bible reading, story time. 8pm Lights out for the boys, John showers and eats. time to chill with John. 9pm Call and remind Daddy to give Mom meds and tell them goodnight. More time relax. 10:30pm Bed So that is our new normal. It will to change again before long, as I will be going back to work June 1, here on the farm and at markets. The edges are still rough but we are blessed! Praying for Mom's memory to heal and the confusion to go away. Blessings!


Julie said...

I still say you are the busiest woman I know . . . and you still hold it all together!

You are one very strong woman!

Nikki said...

Yes, Marva, you are very strong. I will continue to pray that God will give you strength and endurance.

Mimi said...

Sending prayers and hugs to you.
Your parents are very lucky to have you nearby.