Something is Missing, Perhaps "Someone"

It took a very long time for us to conceive our twin boys. We tried for about 7 years, then did fertility for about 4-5 months. We did very low dose/low key meds/procedures. We were blessed that it happened quickly once fertility "things" were started. We were both "the problem". LOL! That looks stupid on paper. We lost triplet baby at 7 1/2 weeks. We were blessed to have our boys, who were very sick for a very long few years but now are fairly healthy and will be SIX next week!

God is so good! We knew early on that IVF was not an option for us, nor was adoption. Now, at the ripe ole age of 35 with many, many irons in the fire and health issuses that linger I find myself looking at one of those options again. You see a few months ago there was a family member that became pregnant and not in the best of circumstances. She (John's 3rd cousin)had just graduated high school, was not married and wanted to go to college. The Father is on mental disability living with his Mom in a travel trailer who is also on mental disability and is not your stand up citizen. We offered to pay the medical bills and take care of the baby's Mom while she was carrying the said child. She wanted more ($$$). We had a few stiff conditions and things went south. To make a long story short. The child is two weeks old today and precious. I took some things to the Mom (who is living with her grandparents) for the baby. I held her and when I left I felt empty. I will not go into the fact that we are good parents who are stable in EVERYWAY, goes to church, loves God, yadda, yadda, yadda. The Mom does not work, is on every available government aid provided and a few days ago was "hanging out" in Wal-Mart to get some time "away" while the Grandmother kept the baby.

So, While I would love to adopt THAT precious baby (girl). I am praying that God opens a door somewhere else for us to parent a baby (girl) else where. My heart hurts for this "other" baby cause I know what she will and won't have and what we could give her. God has a plan. John is opening up to the idea of it. He did say that when God opens that door he will be ready.

Now, you know my heart and intermost feelings. Also let me say we have "fostered" before. An older male child that was in theraputic care. Feeling on that: WE WILL NOT GO THERE AGAIN! ;) Enough said.

I will wait on HIM! Blessings!