I am going to be completely honest here, I feel rotten.
For those of you that need a refresher or missed it, I awoke to complete sickness Tuesday morning at 1:30am. From then until 4:30pm I bet I flushed the toilet 100 times or more and we will not discuss how many times I needed a trash can.
I have not been "sick" since but I am so weak and any food makes me sick at my tummy. I have had 2 pieces of toast, 1 cup of homemade chicken noodle soup, 10 saltines and lots of Powerade since, BUT that's it. I have the worst headache from not eating and have lost 7 pounds (YAY!) since Tuesday. Not that I was actually trying, what a yucky way to loose it.
I have to go back to work tomorrow and dread it. Things here at home have not been wonderful either. Until hubby and i had the boys we never once argued or had a slighted word with each other. The last couple of weeks have been so stressful. He has taken on the role as the 3rd child. It is driving me nuts. I try to "baby" him as much as the boys will allow but their needs have to come first, they are only 2 you know?
I am doing the best I can, but I feel like a single Mommy right now. I love him with all of my heart, but he waits for me to do everything and when I ask him to do the least little thing he pouts like a child. For instance ( he is still on a cane since surgery, but he can drive , etc.) this morning I got myself and the boys ready, got school bags ready, wrapped hubs knee with a bandage, give meds, made breakfast, made beds, etc., etc, etc. When I asked hubby to put the boys shoes on, so I could get dressed he sighed and rolled his eyes. He was not doing anything at the time, just sitting in a chair by the door. I got the boys in the car, strapped them in and then got all of our things in the car. He is driving me nuts!!!
I have to do bathes, take care of them at all hours of the night, cook supper, clean up supper, give meds, read bedtime stories, clean up from bath time........need I go on and on. Then I have to help hubby with his at home physical therapy.
This mommy needs a break! It does not help any that the boys both still have a sinus infection and are quite needy right now.
Any suggestions? Lord please forgive me for writing this, but I need some wisdom from other wives and mommies.
I love my husband and Lord knows this but I am at wits end.
Blessings!
7 comments:
This may sound conflicting.....but Praise him....yep....praise him....
Say things like....Honey thank you so much for helping to put the boys shoes on....I know you are still uncomfortable, but I am feeling overwhelmed and when you help me I really appreciate it. etc.....couldn't hurt...Pam
Hugs to you, Marva, I hope things get better for everyone soon!
I don't have any good advice...but I can relate. My hubs gets irritable and petty when he isn't feeling well or has been working long hours or strange shifts (hey, like right now, as a matter of fact!) I try and remind myself that he isn't himself, grit my teeth and go on trying to be the best wife and mom that I can each day.
I read this post and thought it was a good reminder, perhaps you would like it to: http://www.momstoolbox.com/blog/just-serve/
I will be praying for you, it can be so overwhelming to be constantly the caretaker, and you need to be taking care of yourself too, dear! I wish I could come over and take some of that load off.
Blessings, sweet friend!
Steph
Oh Marva . . . I am sure you simply feel overwhelmed to the max! Talk about WONDER WOMAN!!! GIRL YOU ARE IT! Do you have any friends or relatives that could give you a day or two off by taking your place at home?
Thank you for your kind and loving remarks.
Solution . . . that is a tough one. Maybe a sit down with hubs over coffee, tea or maybe ice cream to let him know you are close to a melt down and REALLY need his help.
Much prayers
Marva,I do feeel for you! But pleasa try and keep the no argument with hubby theme going strong!
i know that it's hard, but it will so be worth it, and your kids will grow up much happier if mommy and daddy don't fuss at each other.
I do agree with Pam, praise goes a LONG way for the male ego. Another good strategy is to ask the kids to ask daddy to help, like " Give daddy a hug and ask him to help tie your shoes, he's the best at it!"
These are the times when mommy needs a time out, even if it's just in a locked bathroom or sitting on the patio for a few minutes alone. Trust me, been there!
Hugs, Mimi
It is common knowledge that when men get sick they are worse than babies. I think you should just have a quiet talk with him and just say, Honey, I am so overwhelmed! I love you and the boys more than anything but I am to the point of sheer exhaustion here!" Then thank him for all he does before letting him know you really need him to kick it up a notch. Be honest and appeal to his love for you and the boys. As long as you continue to do everything there is no need for him to do it. Maybe you will have to take the boys out without shoes when you've asked him to put them on and he hasnt done it. Just grab the boys up when its time to go and take them out the door shoes or no shoes. He may just start catching on.
Dearest Marva.....I think we can all relate! I also think hubbies tend to get used to wives/mommies taking care of everybody and everything all of the time.....you guys have really been stressed over the last couple of months to say the least! I was also going to suggest praising and/or thanking hubby when you ask him to do something.....I know it's hard to ignore the eye rolling, but, yes, saying something like "thanks so much for helping with.....(fill in the blank).....it really helps me out and I appreciate it....hopefully soon, hubby will just automatically help out when he sees you are stressed and realize you have to work as a team......I'm praying for you both! Try, if you can, to take a little time each day just for YOU! You deserve it my friend.....hugs and blessings....Ellie
I've not an intelligent word to add, my dear...but, I can certainly empathize! We've struggled with hubs' health issues our whole marriage, and four major surgeries in the mix. It gets to be just too much some days! I am praying for you, dearest, as you have for me.
hugs and prayers,
Deb
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