Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Flying By the Seat of My Pants

The last few months have been a little more than hectic around here.
I have been impatient with my children. My schedules have gone lacking. I have had no time for me. Some days having to wait on hubby to get in from work before I could even bathe. Things have been just crazy. I have not been a happy camper. I have tried and God was good, although too good at times and I definitely could have been better.

I would not win the Mommy of the Year awards. I have snapped at my little angels when I should have used a calmer tone. Some nights there was no cooked supper, just cereal or whatever we could pull together. I had planned, but had not been able to stick to it because of other things or people. Some nights I was cooking for 20 or more and delivering it to my in-laws. My Spring cleaning it almost caught up. I just like cleaning out a couple of cabinets and wiping them out. I also need to wash one more set of curtains and iron and rehang. Also, iron and rehang to other valances. Thanks to my bff C.T. the cleaning was done.

I have to get back to a weight loss regimen. I have gained a lot of weight in the last couple of months and some more from Thanksgiving through New Years. Nevertheless, it has piled on and has to go. It is a new month and all of the birthday cake is gone from the twins' party. This Momma is ready to get with it.

I am ready to let go a little more, give more of myself to the Lord and to my own self. I have realized it's okay for me to give myself a pedicure or stay 15 minutes extra in a hot bubble bath. I also am going to read a little more. I have not picked anything up in the last month to read, not even a recipe book. I have magazines coming out by the caboodles.

I am going to change!!! I am going to take time for me now. I feel better just getting this off my shoulders.

I love having a schedule. I need a list and something to keep me on track. I know the usual things that I have to do daily, it's the calls, emails, appointments and odd things that I need to remember. I guess that is actually more of a to-do list than a schedule. I am so scatterbrained most days. Or at least have been with so much on my plate. Mrs. Darling has a wonderful post on Instruction for Homekeeping. I agree with her. Right now though i need a more detailed list for the house and meals. With little ones the same age it helps me stay on track. We do have just a skeleton schedule for their day. It helps tremendously to be flexible with a two year old.......much less TWO, two year olds.

I did read a post on praying with a timer. I just don't think that could work for me. When I go before the Lord, I let the Spirit guide me. Why interrupt such precious time with the Saviour? I try to pray when I know I will not be interrupted. I always pray before the boys arise of a morning and before I lay my head down at night. I pray throughout the day. I am definitely not that scheduled. I think she uses it because she is easily distracted. What is your take on this subject?

I am just doing my best for me and my family. I do have a Homekeeper's journal. I do not pour over it daily and sometimes might not pick it up for a month or two. I just use it when I need to. It has an address book, health records, insurance info, etc. in it. I will touch more on that later. It does come in handy from time to time though.

I also hope to resume my home tour and the boy's story soon.

I will be going back to work at least part time on the farm this summer (starting the first part of June). I will need to reread this post then. Things get crazy during harvest.

Hope you all have a wonderful day! Blessings!!!! Oh and it's good to be back in Bloggy Land!!!


chelle's winks said...

Stopped by after visiting Southener...Wow, you have been really busy.I enjoyed reading you blog and was touched by all the nice things you had to say.
Sorry to hear about you mil.

Good luck to you with your weight loss and everything else you have going on....

Nico said...

Wishing you all the best! It sounds like you have a lot planned, and great job too getting all of your Spring cleaning accomplished.

Mrs. Darling said...

Marva I do have a schedule ofr homeschool and all the classes the kids need ran to. There's just too much to keep in ones mind sometimes.

How are you going to work on the farm with the babies? Who's going to watch them?

Southerner said...

I am doing my rounds of people who said they wanted to join in the weight waddle- thats what it is. I know you have not had two minutes to really focus on this now, but wanted to let you know I AM WATCHING YOU- (do,do,do,do- that is the spooky movie music not that I am watching you do do)You said you are ready to focus. I am sure that it will help you emotionally also as you adjust to all the changes in your life. So, start now and let us know how it is going.

Praying with a timer? I guess I would have to read the post. It sounds like you are giving God 5 minutes so He better hurry up. I like praying with a list though. I can become distracted and a list with a theme for the day helps. Theme: one day friends, one day family, one day church leaders, one day government officials- like that.

Nikki said...

It's good to have you back. I missed you, but I can only imagine how busy you have been.

I need some time to myself everyday, also. I try to get it during the afternoon naps. If I can, the rest of the day goes so much better. Thanks to Daniel's getting me up so early these days, I also get some "me" time in the morning. I bet your days will feel better, too, when you get some time for yourself.

Mimi said...

It's tough being a mom, and it can be tough being a mom of twins. as a fellow mom of twins, my advice to you is to enjoy them and when you do snap or lose it, apologize and move on.Sometimes mommy needs a time out! Oh yes, do I know that!
I can't do anything with a timer, and praying with a timer would seem too rushed to me! But whatever works is what you've got to do, so yay for your friend!
As for losing weight, I'm back to square one too. I've been pushing myself to walk and keeping track of my calories. It's hard!Soooooohard.....

Anonymous said...

Don't be too hard on yourself Marva! We all do the best we can. We all feel stressed and grumpy sometimes....we are after all, human! Take time for are deserving! It's good to have you back....hugs....Ellie

MyKidsMom said...

We've all felt this way at some time or other. In fact, didn't I just threathen to delete a similar sounding post about a month ago? I believe I did.

And Mrs.D is big on organizing and keeping track. I don't believe she meant what you're talking about at all. I write tons of things down to keep track of them. But there are some that write alot and don't DO much..not that I'm trying to judge them.

Between you and Nikki, I feel so many dejavu (you know that french word) moments. Little ones sure do keep you busy in a whole different way. I hope you're able to fit in more of those "me" times. You're a good wife and mommy, don't let those low times make you think otherwise.

Marva said...

Thanks for stopping by Chelle's winks! Hope to see you again!


Marva said...

Thanks nico! I am working on it!


Marva said...

Hi Mrs. D! I completely agree! I have a monther's helper that will be coming to care for them while I am at work. She also can bring them in the stroller to see me almost anytime. The indoor market (that my paretns own)is within a football feild's length of my home.


Marva said...

Thanks southerner. I need all the support I can get. I am going to post here each Monday my weight and progress. I had the funeral this past Monday, so I will start posting next week.


Marva said...

Thanks Nikki! I agree with the time for yourself.


Marva said...

Thanks Mimi! That means a lot! I agree with the timer, I always feel pushed enough! Yes, Mommies need time outs too. Hang in there on the weight loss journey! I will be glad when it warms up, so I can walk again!


Marva said...

thanks Ellie! Blessing on you!!

Marva said...

I completely understand mykidsmom. I didn't mean to imply like that. I am a big thinker, writer and doer.

Thanks sweet friend. those low times can just be hard sometimes. Many blessings!!!!!