Monday, November 17, 2008

Thanksgiving At Our House

Thanksgiving morning the guys all go deer hunting and then are back by 11am to help the ladies finish the last minute touches for our feast. We usually eat at 12pm, with my parents and some other family. Then we eat at my in-laws at 3pm. Then we meet up with my bro and sil at my parents at 6pm or so for another meal. There is lots of football in between as well.

This year things will be different. My mil passed in March and Hubby insists we change tradition. So we will be going to my hubby's sisters house and meet with his family at lunch and my parents and family at supper. That is all fine and dandy except my parents have no one eating with them at lunch and it will not even feel like Thanksgiving if they are by themselves. MY Daddy sees the neurosurgeon on Wednesday of this week and I told hubby that was fine as long as my Dad did NOT receive bad news. He was not very happy with me.

We may each have to do our own thing.....I don't know what's going to happen.

So, what do you think? I know he is my hubby and head of the household. BUT!!! I want to be with my parents too (at lunch).

Suggestions please! How do you manage all of the madness this time of year?



ditarae said...

Hi Marva,
This is a struggle for us EACH Christmas! My mom is a widow and has no family in town except us (her closest sibling is 150 miles away); my mil lives alone, but has her mom and brother right here in town and they're always together; my fil and his wife have a HUGE family on her side. My mom, who is the only one truly ALONE is also the only one who doesn't kick and scream and DEMAND that we give her a ginormous chunk of our day. It frustrates me so much each year. She's the one I want to be with, but we usually end up celebrating Christmas with her another day so we can adequately appease dh's side of the family. Thanksgiving is a no brainer.... we hang with my mom, no questions, no explanations. We stop by and see the other folks, but just a quick visit and then we're off to Mom's. Thanksgiving is also the only holiday that my sister and her family are here from NJ. I only see them 2 or 3 times a year. All that fussing and whining to say that it IS a complicated issue, and I feel your pain!

Mrs. Darling said...

Im sure your parents understand a compromise is needed. If you eat lunch with them then they will eat dinner alone. Either way they will be eating alone if I read this right. We dont ahve parents close. Hubbys are in Washington and mine ar in Idaho. But we do have this conflict with Wendy and her husbands family. We're all within 3 miles of each other!

Anonymous said...

That's a toughie my family, we just do every other year for Thanksgiving (it has worked for 21 years so far!)....this year will be with dh's family. I'm a little sad this year though as my grandmother turned 90 in Aug and who knows if it will be her last. We will be seeing her this coming weekend though... Since you usually do 2 meals with your family for Thanksgiving, is there anyway your brother and sil could maybe do lunch with your parents this year? That way they wouldn't be alone and you would be back for dinner with them.....hope this helps....these things are never easy around the holidays are they?? Hugs.....Ellie

Marva said...

Thanks for understanding Danita! Hope all is well!

Many blessings!!!!

Marva said...

Mrs. D, thank you for the advice. Lunch is just the time we are all use to eating the traditional Thanksgiving feast. Maybe it is a southern tradition. Supper doesn't seem to matter so much. I don't know why.


Marva said...

Hi Ellie! My bro and sil have eaten lunch with "her" family as long as I can remember....20ish years. They (she) would not go for it. Thanks for the suggestion though!


Mimi said...

Hi Marva,
Even though it may be difficult for you, I would go along with your hubbY's wishes. he is probably feeling a big void this year since his mom is no longer here. The bond between a mom and son is strong, even if we can't see it, it is there.
Think of how you would feel in his shoes. I would try and make dinner with your parents extra special in some way. I'm sure that you can do just that, knowing you-anything is possible!
Just my 2 cents worth. I know it's hard!
Hugs, Mimi

Nico said...

Holidays are a struggle for us too, so I host all of them. It works out well, we still get to see everybody, and we don't have to get the kiddos out on the road. Wishing you all the best this holiday season :)

Christy said...

Hi Marva. I feel your pain. We always have to do 2 Thanksgivings in one day and its hassle with 3 kids and we just can't eat that close together so this year I am hosting Thanksgiving and my parents, in laws, and a few other family members are coming to our house. They are bringing some sides and then I don't have to go anywhere and lots of help with the dishes.

Is that something that would work for your family?